Madam Happenstance’s Guide to Eroto-magical Cookery

“Molly was a foodie.   She was overweight and didn’t care.  Diets were for the insecure skinny chicks who wanted to become even skinnier so that guys would want to fuck them.  Molly liked sex—and she had tried it in college, with both men and women—but she knew there were greater pleasures in life.  She preferred a succulent piece of foie gras to a succulent cock.  She appreciated the fatty creaminess of a nice pair of breasts, but preferred the fatty creaminess of fatty cream.  A tongue in her mouth was all well and good, but it was better if properly boiled and braised.  Porn turned her on, but not as much as the elBulli cookbook…”

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The Chest

“It was my first night sleeping in the new place and I could hear my housemates making love through the wall of my room. The girl—I think her name was Maggie—gave rapid, ragged gasps that got louder as she approached her climax. The boy, whom I had not yet met, let out clusters of truncated, falsetto moans. Through it all there was the jouncing of bedsprings, the slapping of flesh on flesh. They did it twice that night, and the second time I masturbated along with them, timing my orgasm to coincide with hers, imagining a stranger’s cock inside me…”

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Lilly & the Goblin

“I’m different.

My parents thought I was a boy when I was born. It took them years to work out that I wasn’t.

It’s obvious now. I wear women’s clothes, women’s makeup, I have a woman’s haircut. I have a woman’s hips and thighs and breasts. But babies don’t have any of that, so they assumed I was a boy, dressed me as a boy and sent me to school as a boy…”

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The Orchard – Remixed

Note: This story is a rewrite of The Orchard, in which the hitchhiker is male instead of female.

“The sun was low on the horizon when they picked him up, its last red rays slanting in beneath a blanket of rainclouds. The first, fat droplets had already begun to fall. It was beautiful hiking country, but a bad place to try hitchhiking. They had driven all day without passing any other vehicles, just sheep and fields and dry-stone walls, and in half an hour he would be all but invisible in the dark…”

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The Orchard

“They thought she was a man when they first saw her. The sun was low on the horizon, the last red rays reaching in beneath a blanket of storm clouds, when they saw the hitchhiker in the muddy army surplus raincoat. The first drops of rain were already beginning to fall. It was going to be a bad night…”

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