Mossbottom Forest & Morningtown – Week-of-Beer, 5th Cycle, Saturday
The Satyrs of Mossbottom Forest are unique within this study. They are the only group for whom xenophilia is a ubiquitous and celebrated part of their culture. All Satyrs are male, without exception, and although homosexual play is common, Satyrs consider their primary sexual partners to be females of other species, including Human women.
In nearby Morningtown, the Satyrs are considered barbaric, animalistic and dangerous by mainstream society. The townsfolk warn their daughters that any woman who ventures into Mossbottom Forest runs the risk of falling victim to the depredations of these lascivious man-beasts. However, both the Morningtown Constabulary and Badchester College have studied the matter extensively, and have found that when sex has occurred between Humans and Satyrs it has always been consensual.
It is entirely true that Satyrs are wanton, bawdy, priapistic, lust-filled creatures, who engage in sex with a frequency and enthusiasm that may intimidate some Humans, but they are also a peaceful, non-violent people for whom enthusiastic consent is an absolutely obligatory prerequisite to sex.
It soon became clear to me that the horror stories told about Satyrs by the elders of Morningtown are intended to discourage Human women from seeking out Satyr sexual partners, but the matrons of the town tell these stories with half-smiles and knowing winks.
Morningtown is a conservative and highly religious community, in which sex before marriage is condemned and the children of unwed couples are sent away to Badchester orphanage. For young Morningtown women, therefore, the Mossbottom Satyrs are perfect partners for sexual experimentation: they are not members of the community, so there is little chance of discovery; there is no chance of rejection, as no Satyr has ever been known to turn down an offer of sex; there is no chance of accidental pregnancy, as Satyrs and Humans cannot interbreed; and—perhaps most importantly—they are passionate, muscular, virile lovers with large phalluses that never become flaccid.
My informants in Morningtown told me that having sex with a Satyr is something of a coming-of-age ritual for women of the town. They reckoned that the majority of Morningtown women lose their virginity to Satyrs. One woman, who wished to remain nameless, told me that she and a group of her friends began going into Mossbottom at the age of eighteen. They would meet in a secret clearing on Friday nights, stash their clothes in the bole of a hollow tree, and walk naked into the forest in search of Satyr lovers. The friends continued this tradition right up until their marriages. My informant spoke of Satyr-Human sex with nostalgia and great fondness, but when I asked her if she would ever consider taking a Satyr lover now, she said: “That’s a young woman’s game. I don’t know if I would have the energy for it any more, but it was such fun in my earlier years.”
Naturally, after hearing these stories, I knew I had to give it a try, so I hiked into Mossbottom Forest a little way and stripped naked. They say that Satyrs can smell the scent of an aroused woman from a mile away, so I masturbated as I walked into the wood, smearing juices onto my flesh like perfume.
Illustration 6.1 – Click image to hide/show clothing
It wasn’t long before I heard someone crashing through the branches towards me. It was Tom Billyman, my primary subject for this chapter. He let out a cry of delight when he saw me and extemporized an ode to my beauty on the spot. I laughed and told him I had heard that Satyrs were great lover, and I had come to the Forest to find out myself. He said he would be only too happy to demonstrate, and pulled off his codpiece to reveal the most astonishing and beautiful erection I have ever seen.
He had me up against a beech tree, my back pressed against its smooth, grey bark. The sex was vigorous, energetic and delightful. I held him by the horns as he thrust into me, my legs wrapped around his waist. The fur of his thighs felt soft and luxurious as they slapped against my buttocks.
Tom told me that he has had thousands of Human lovers. He confirmed that most of them were young, unmarried women, who came into the woods in search of a one-off sexual encounter. Some of his Human lovers are older, however, and have been coming to him for years. There is even a married couple who visit regularly. While Tom makes love to the wife, her husband watches and masturbates.
Satyrs are liminal beings who straddle our conceptual boundary between Human and animal. There is no bestiality taboo within Satyr culture. Satyrs can speak to animals and consider all living things to be sentient, including trees and flowers. They do not distinguish between animals and xenosapient creatures. They often take wild goats, deer, bears and other forest dwellers as sexual partners. Tom told me that Human women are his favourite, but some of his friends prefer other, more bestial lovers.
When I explained the background of this book to Tom, he was confused by the very concept. For Satyrs, species distinctions are utterly irrelevant to sexuality. To him, I might as well be studying sexual relations between people with different eye colours.
Orthodox religious movements consider all xenos to be morally and spiritually inferior to Humans, but Satyrs have long received special condemnation from religious institutions. The scriptures depict them as irredeemably evil and many religious sects have even based their devil mythology on the image of the Satyr (albeit, devils are usually depicted without the Satyrs’ prominent erections, for modesty’s sake). I believe these xenophobic attitudes are a response to the way Satyrs view species distinctions. Satyr culture rides rough-shod over the category boundaries that separate species from one another, thus exposing such boundaries as arbitrary cultural constructions. The church is much more comfortable dealing with people who simply claim that they are superior to Humans, such as Orks. Such an attitude reaffirms the religion’s established hierarchy, it merely quibbles over the details. The attitude of the Satyrs, however, questions the very premise of any such argument. This is a much greater threat to religious authority.
I must admit, their attitude towards xenophilia is extremely appealing to me, and it is tempting to hold Satyr culture up as a model towards which Human culture should aspire, but such idealization is also dangerous if it ignores the very real differences between the two cultures. For example, the line between animals and xenosapient peoples is an important one in Human culture; the fact that such a line does not exist in Satyr culture does not change that. Unlike a Satyr, a Human is incapable of obtaining meaningful consent from an animal, and so what is permissible for a Satyr may be impermissible for a Human. I nevertheless believe we have much to learn from Satyrs, and a study of their culture will reveal much about our own prejudices and assumptions. More in-depth research is certainly needed.